He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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