Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
His nipple licking is glorious
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