i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Blow job season was short but glorious.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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