And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
