I think I just saw someone hide a body.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I would ride that face into the sunset
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
