the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
