Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
wow bdsm is so cute
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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