i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
