it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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