I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
