3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
