he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
