I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
