suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
