he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
