Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
