He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
