We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
