terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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