By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
