i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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