this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
