dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
