i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
