i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
