That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
