I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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