I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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