my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
