the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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