ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
