I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
