get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
