my sisters under your porch take her home
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
