AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
