I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
