i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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