god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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