I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Randomize
