so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
her vagine was all disorganized.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
