There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
