Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
