tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I just blew my weed a kiss
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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