I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
