ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
