I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
