I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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