I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I had to cum in my sink.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
