I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
