If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
