I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
